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  • Writer's picturepfq143

Small Victories

Updated: May 27, 2023

I'd passed it several times over the last month; each time it drawing me in more, as though casting its spell over me, tempting me. And then one day, I gave in.

Mind you, I am hyper-conscious of making bad decisions these days, especially after I went back-to-back with two questionable ones (ok, bad) this winter. As I objectively analyzed the current situation (right), I thought of the worst case scenario: if I fail, my ego will sustain the most damage. Physically, there's not much to lose. As fragile as my ego is, it has proven that it can take some hits, and while it may bend, I know it won't break. So, a no-brainer of a decision, really.

Clue: it involves a field, a steep incline, and a bench on the far ridge of the hill. The first question was, "Can I get access to the field?". I need a width of 3 feet to fit my go-cart through an opening. I approached the weathered, embattled stone wall with excited anxiousness, the break in the wall appearing to widen as I rounded the corner to the entrance. "Yes, I can get through that," I said to myself convincingly. And I could, so I gently entered the arena that was the field, and which contained the prized bench.

It was the gradient I wanted to test-- the steepness. Could I use all my power, combine it with the maximum boost of the electric-assist battery of my go-cart, to make it up to the ridge? While I had progressively tackled grades of increasing steepness, I'd never tried anything this steep. I slid into my lowest gear, and thumb-switched twice to get to HIGH boost...

In less than ten seconds, I was on the ridge. I had summoned all my power (with some help) to point my go-cart towards the sky; for a few seconds I felt like I was in a rocket ship, with nothing but a blue-sky frontier ahead of me.

I victory-lapped across the ridge to the bench, and like a boat pulling up to a dock, I parked the go-cart close enough to the bench to allow me to safely transport myself to the bench. I grabbed my sandwich out of my fishing vest pocket-- alone with my thoughts...

Bumblebee Park, 23 March 2021


Happy Birthday to my brother, Dickie, who would have turned 69 today.


---- B L A C K L I V E S M A T T E R ----

---- S T O P A S I A N H A T E ----


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